With October here and Halloween just around the corner, many little ones are surrounded by pumpkins, costumes and spooky stories, which can sometimes lead to extra bedtime worries.
It is also a time when words like nightmares and night terrors are often mentioned, and while they might sound similar, they are quite different both in what they look like and how parents should respond when they happen.
Nightmares
Why they happen
Most children have the occasional nightmare, but they are especially common between the ages of two and four when imaginations begin to blossom and normal fears start to develop.
Nightmares can be triggered by many things, such as moving to a big bed, starting toilet training, changes at nursery or school, a new sibling or even a particularly exciting or stressful day. Sometimes, a story or television programme that does not seem frightening to an adult can feel very real to a young child.
In most cases, nightmares are a normal part of development. As children become more aware of the world around them, they also start to understand that some things can cause harm. Their dreams often help them to process these feelings. While it can be upsetting to hear your child call out in the night, try not to worry too much if it happens occasionally.
How to recognise a nightmare
If your child wakes crying or frightened, wants comfort and finds it hard to fall back to sleep, it is likely they have had a nightmare. These usually happen later in the night when dreaming is most common. Your child may remember what happened the next morning and still feel unsettled by it.
Helping to prevent nightmares
Minimising stress during the day and ensuring your child gets enough sleep are both important.
A calm, predictable bedtime routine can make a big difference. A warm bath, a gentle and uplifting bedtime story, and a comforting night light can all help. Some children also find it reassuring to talk about what dreams are and how they are not real.
What to do after a nightmare
If your child calls out, go to them. Offer calm reassurance and a cuddle until they are settled again. Physical comfort is important, but it is best to stay in their room rather than bringing them into yours, as this can quickly become a habit that is hard to reverse.
Talk gently about their fears without dismissing them, and remind them that they are safe. If they want to share what happened, listen, but do not push them to talk. At this age, most children understand the difference between real and pretend, so reminding them that it was only a dream can help. It is also worth remembering that the emotions brought on by nightmares can feel very real, even once they are awake.
Night Terrors
What they are
A night terror might look similar to a nightmare, but what is happening is quite different and can appear much more dramatic. These episodes can be distressing for parents to witness, but they are not usually anything to worry about unless they occur frequently.
Why they happen
Night terrors occur during a different stage of sleep. While nightmares happen during REM (dreaming) sleep, night terrors occur during deep non-REM sleep. It is as though a child becomes stuck between two stages of sleep.
They usually happen about two to three hours after a child first falls asleep. During a night terror, a child might suddenly sit up, shout, scream, breathe quickly or thrash about. Some even get out of bed and move around, often with their eyes open but not truly awake. After a few minutes, or sometimes longer, they will usually calm down and drift back into deep sleep. The next morning, they will have no memory of what happened.
Night terrors are quite rare, affecting around three per cent of children, and they tend to appear between the ages of three and twelve. They are also slightly more common in boys.
How to recognise a night terror
If your child seems highly agitated, does not respond to comfort and then settles straight back to sleep afterwards, it is probably a night terror. These typically happen in the first few hours of the night, and your child will not remember them in the morning.
Helping to prevent night terrors
There is no specific treatment, but you can help reduce how often they occur by:
- Keeping to a regular, predictable bedtime routine
- Reducing stress wherever possible
- Making sure your child gets enough rest and is not overtired
What to do during a night terror
Although it can be upsetting to watch, try to stay calm. Do not wake your child. Make sure they are safe and wait until the episode passes. They will usually settle back to sleep on their own.
If night terrors happen repeatedly, or occur more than once a night, it is a good idea to speak with your GP, who may suggest a referral to a sleep specialist.
Final Thoughts
Occasional nightmares or even night terrors can be a normal part of a child’s sleep development. The best way to help is by keeping bedtime calm, consistent and reassuring.
If you have noticed bedtime worries increasing as Halloween approaches, remember that this is often temporary. With patience, comfort and a good bedtime routine, those peaceful nights will return.
If your child’s sleep challenges are becoming more regular or affecting family life, I would be happy to talk things through and explain how I can help. You can book a free 15 minute discovery call.
