In my early years as a mother of three and a paediatric nurse, bedtime often fell to me alone while my husband was also on shift work. Balancing the needs of three little ones and ensuring they each felt settled was often challenging, especially after a full day of work and activities. Today, many families experience the solo bedtime routine, whether it’s due to a partner working away or a late shift, or as a single parent balancing it all. I understand how overwhelming it can feel, and for that reason, I’d like to share some tried-and-tested strategies that can help make solo bedtime smoother and more manageable.
1. Establish a Bedtime Routine
A consistent bedtime routine can be invaluable, helping children transition smoothly from the day’s energy to the calm of bedtime. Starting around 8 weeks old, even the youngest family members can participate in a simple routine, which might begin with some quiet play as a family, followed by 20-30 minutes upstairs for bathing, teeth brushing, and stories. Keeping the routine predictable yet concise will help your children know what to expect each evening, making the process easier for everyone involved.
2. Set Sleep Rules and Rewards
For children over 2½ years old, introducing “sleep rules” can be an effective way to foster bedtime independence. These rules can include tasks like brushing teeth, putting on pyjamas, and lying in bed quietly. Simple visuals can help younger children understand what’s expected of them, and a reward chart can add an element of fun and motivation. Children thrive on boundaries and predictability, and sleep rules help provide just that, giving them a sense of ownership over their bedtime routine.
3. Allow Extra Time
One of the most important tips is to give yourself plenty of time, especially in the early days of establishing your solo bedtime routine. Rushing can make bedtime feel more stressful for both you and the children, so aim to start with extra time to ease into the flow. With time, you’ll naturally adapt and likely develop your own tweaks to save time without sacrificing calm.
4. Embrace Multi-tasking
Where possible, incorporate multi-tasking into your routine. For example, if your toddler enjoys helping bathe their baby sibling, bathing them together can save time and bring a lovely moment of bonding. If your older child no longer bathes with their younger sibling, they could play quietly or help with another task, such as tidying their toys, while you bathe the little one. You could also alternate nights if an older child no longer requires a nightly bath, allowing them to dress for bed independently while you finish settling the younger ones.
5. Prioritise the Order of Bedtimes
It’s also helpful to be flexible with bedtime order, adjusting to meet each child’s needs. For instance, if your youngest is the most tired, settle them first while encouraging your older child to play quietly or sit with a book. If your older child needs an earlier bedtime (perhaps due to dropping a daytime nap), place your baby somewhere safe while you settle the older sibling first. This adaptability can make solo bedtimes feel far more manageable.
These tips will be beneficial for many solo bedtime routines, but if your children are struggling to settle independently, it may be worth considering additional support. Sleep skills can make a world of difference in creating an easier, more pleasant bedtime for everyone. If you’re facing bedtime battles with one or more of your children, please reach out – I’d love to help transform bedtime into a calm and enjoyable experience for your family.
